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12 Years Since

12 Years can be measured...
4,384 Days
105,216 Hours
6,312,960 Minutes

I can go on.

That is how long it has been since I hugged the man who taught me how to be ME!  He taught me how to love, how to fight, how to apologize.  He taught me how to count, how to read and how to write. 

In 12 years a lot can happen.  We have moved.  We have had birthdays, anniversaries, tragedies and triumphs.  Careers have changed.  Graduations have happened.  Others have passed away and new members have been born.  My family literally grew by the multiples (and I would do anything to be able to share the story with him). 

My boys have grown up with simply stories of a man who would have been an amazing Granddaddy.  They have only stories and a few pictures of a man who loved them more than he loved me (and let me tell you THAT is something I did not think was possible). 

Grief comes in waves and this I know and most days I really am okay.  Today I allow myself to drown.  Today my heart hurts.  Today I NEED to talk to him.  I NEED to hear his voice.  I NEED to curl up on the couch next to him and tell him so much.

I never knew the importance of a phone call until I couldn't make the one call I NEED to make.  I never knew how important tears were until it hurt too bad to let them fall. 

Daddy, I LOVE you!  

 I know that Heaven sees what happens here on Earth and if you can hear me please help Doug and Charlaine find Paighton. 


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